NFL Week 1 Payoff: Some Were Good, Some Were Bad

Dude...

The NFL Week 1 games are over. Some teams showed out, and some teams threw up a stinker. Whatever the case may be we have your NFL payoffs for week one. Don't worry, we enjoyed a nice beer or two in the process of making these! Like we said, this isn't a professional site. Enjoy!!!!

AFC Division Games

Cleveland vs. Cincy:

The Elves have found out what their defense can do, or did Joe Burrow show up to the game instead of Joe Shiesty? The game was pretty interesting but seemed boring at the same thing. Here are my takeaways from the game and what it could mean in the future.

Joe will play better: It always seems like Burrow comes in soft at the beginning of the season. It happened last year and they ended up showing up as a juggernaut at the end of the season. This game was not his best for sure but I’m not worried about his performance for the rest of the season.

The Browns' Defense is coming to its true form: The defense did not make it easy for Burrow, it wasn’t a bad performance only for Burrow, and the Browns were all over the field and made it hard for Joe to compete the way he wants to.

Jaguars vs. Colts

The Jags did not look good against the Colts. Trevor did not have the game the media wanted him to have. But you can see how the Jags can perform well this year. The Colts also have some good play calls working in their favor, Richardson didn’t look awful but he throws on the right side of the field way too much.

The Jags need to find their mojo: The Jags are a good team but they feel like a team that doesn’t know how good they can be. They have the talent to become a dominant force in the NFL but they haven’t shown the cultural togetherness that this team needs.

The Colts have a franchise QB, and they need him to develop: I know it wasn’t a crazy game for Richardson but he looked comfortable for the majority of the game. The NFL looks good on him, and if he cleans up the little perks he goes with during the game and can scrabble well, the Colts will be in good hands.

Raiders vs. Broncos:

Talk about a snooze fest. Wilson still hasn’t found his game yet and the Raiders look so lame. Jacobs takes the game in his hands most of the time. The defense wasn’t the best either, it just felt like a bad game in general for two teams who won’t be in contention in the latter half of the year.

Raiders’ offense is nothing: The Jimmy G situation looks like a temporary thing for this team, without Kyle Shan, his offensive playmaking seems very boring. Jacobs is the only thing this team has and Devante Adams will probably get traded during the year.

Russel Wilson is not him anymore: The Broncos offense will be interesting but Wilson just doesn’t have the magic anymore to make a team special, looks like the Broncos will rely on their defense to win games again.

Jets vs. Bills

What a silly game. I’m sure you all want to talk about the Rodgers injury but he’s done and the Jets need to game plan on how to be successful with Zach Wilson in charge. The defense looks way too good and the offense is still very good. The Bills, good heavens, it does not look good for them.

Zach Wilson HAS to be at least decent: If Zach can be as good as Tua this team can still make the playoffs. But it's Zach we're talking about. The Jets' defense is insane and all over the place. And the offense for the Jets is way too stacked for Zach to fumble again.

Josh Allen is stinky: I feel like Josh is only a thing because the Bills team has been so stacked, but the Bills and Josh are very sus this year. Their defense looks good but they just don’t have that same fire as they did in the past. It seems like they know they’re missing that insane QB and that’s why they don’t have that fire anymore.

AFC Out of division Games:

Texans vs. Ravens

Are we surprised about this outcome? No. But are we surprised by the performances? Yes. Lamar did not look good at all and looked clumsy. But the Ravens' defense looks scary. Or maybe that was against a bad team. Stroud looks very scared again like many Ohio St. QBs do at this point.

Lamar needs to play better: Lamar was being a big baby wanting some money because of his play, but his play did not show that type of attitude. He played soft and very conservative. He has a good team and needs to show up as the general to show how good of a QB he can be.

Stroud will not perform, Houston’s defense will be a problem: Stroud, like many OSU QB’s, don’t do well in the NFL because they’ve played crappy defenses in the Big 10, Minus Michigan. But he hasn’t had full-grown monsters run at him wanting to kill him. He’s exposed to real violence and may not ever be prepared to be that type of QB.

Dolphins vs. Charges

An electric game with electric players. Tyreek is an alien that plays out of this world, and he definitely makes Tua look way better than he is. The Dolphins offensive scheming looks deadly and their defense can become better. The Chargers didn’t look bad either, the problem is Herbert doesn’t have that clutch in him and it will hurt him again in the playoffs this year.

Vape God will run this division: The Coach for the Dolphins is good and can show how great his play scheming is. Especially with Tyreek, the offense is open for what he wants to do. Tua looks good as well, and pending an injury, this team can take the AFC East if they keep it up.

Chargers have a choking hazard: It always feels like this team fumbles way too much in big games. This could be a problem for the coaching staff. The Chiefs scared them into game managing but Herbert just doesn’t seem like he can perform when the time is right.

NFC Division games

Packers vs. Bears

The teams that don’t know what to do this year can make a bad game. The Packers have a solid team and the coach has a brand new clean slate. The Bears on the other hand have a solid QB but their team looks very lame and not ready to play, especially in this game.

The Packers are good: I like how Love played in this game. The Packers have a solid team and kind of have a burden off their back when Rodgers isn’t there to put so much pressure on the season. It felt more about Rodgers than the Packers. But now with him out of the building, they can play their own game and see if they can make a move for the NFC North

Bears in a cage: I mean what does this team plan to do this season? I don’t think Fields is a great QB but he’s a great talent that you’re wasting now because your players don’t have the drive to win. Claypool is a bum and a loser player. And DJ Moore realizes he’s on the Panthers again. The Bears will be in another lame season again.

Panthers vs. Falcons

Don’t know about this game except both teams look suspect. I like a lot of parts the Falcons produce and the Panthers are doing the right thing for this rebuild. The game was taken over by the Falcons' run offense and defense against a rookie QB.

Falcons need an air game: The Falcons can run the ball, and Bijan is a monster athlete. But guys like Kyle Pitts and Drake London won’t get a lot of touches because of the way the offense is set. Hopefully, they trade those guys to a team that needs them, or they figure out how to throw the ball and make them impact players.

Bryce is still learning, and the Panthers are, too: Listen it’s no surprise a Rookie QB doesn’t play well on a bad team in his first season. But he can figure out how to play ball at the next level, and once he does he'll be a very solid QB that can keep his team in the game. I’d give ‘em a season to see how this team develops.

Rams vs. Seahawks

I think this is a game for two teams that won’t even sniff the playoffs because of the juggernaut in their division. I mean the Rams have a good team but they don’t have the money to win anymore, and the Seahawks like many Seattle teams, aren’t thought of until the postseason. The game was fun in some ways but not worthy of watching for 2 hours unless you’re a fan.

The Seahawks are boring: It just doesn’t seem like they can do much to prove themselves as a giant slayer. They have good tendencies but if they play the 49ers it won’t even be close. At this point, they’re a team people pay attention to for fantasy love. Hopefully, they catch fire and Geno Shows out again.

Rams have a chance to be the top dog: I don’t know if we remember how good the Rams team was in 2021. They had so much power they didn’t know what to do with it. The only slight problem they face is injuries. The team is full of great players, but if they fall under the hurt bug again, it’ll look a lot like last season.

Cowboys vs. NY Giants

I don’t know what to say about this game. If you played against the Cowboys' defense in fantasy, I’m so sorry. The Cowboys either proved they are the best defense this world has ever known, or the Giants played a really bad game and the line is worse than projected. Truthfully this is the path the Cowboys need to become successful. The Giants are in trouble because although they can win other games, idk if they’ll have a shot to even sniff the division.

The Cowboys' defense looks like a nightmare: Idk if any of you watched the game but this looked like a crime. The Cowboys' defense legitimately embarrassed a team full of professional athletes. Micha Parsons is a wild crazy man and could win DPOTY with how elusive he is.

Giants got assaulted: May have to give the Giants a restart after that, they did not expect how insane the defensive game was going to be and could possibly be prepared. Daniel Jones is a goober and doesn’t deserve that money either.

Bucs vs. Vikings

Let me explain to you how important this game was. Baker Mayfield showed me that he is still a gamer and the Vikings' defense is the most disappointing part of this NFL season. Kirk didn’t have a great game but the Viking defense made Baker look very compatible.

Baker can become that guy: I mean he has a shot to put this team on his back, he has a good defense on his side and he’s got some great offensive weapons. He can absolutely get this team to the playoffs if he plays like that. And I freaking love it.

Vikings defense made me sad: I don’t know how to explain how disappointed I was in the Vikings' defense. They played badly and it doesn’t look like they can make a comeback this season. This means the playoff chances for the Vikings are slim with the Lions and Packers trying to push into the top spot.

NFL cross-conference games

Lions vs. Chiefs

I mean I loved this first season game, but as a Chiefs fan, it was pretty disappointing. The Lions did a great job and played their butts off. Showed the world they can win a game with a depleted KC team. Not saying the Lions are the best team, the Chiefs did miss a lot of weapons and they played very poorly. But regardless the Lions do their job with their style of play.

Matt Nagy needs to put the ball in Mahomes' hand: Matt needs to realize that this is the Chiefs and not the Bears. He needs to trust Mahomes and give Andy Reid more options to trust Mahomes. Also, the Chiefs' defense is something we need to talk about in the coming weeks. Bc with Chris Jones, they could be top 5, legitimately.

Lions are hungry: The Lions going for it on 4th down in their own red zone was freaking awesome. That’s what you want out of the NFL. Big freaking Balls. The Lions also have figured out how to play defense. Goff is still a little sketch and they need to use Gibbs more but they know how to play and they have their culture intact.

Titans vs. Saints

Well the boring QB game was about how it went. But if you’re fans for both teams I’d be happy about a lot of things. The Saints have a good offense when Carr is on his game. And the Titans have a good defense, especially in the secondary. The game had a good ending but the entirety of the game was pretty mid.

Saints are a great Mid team: Carr is known to be a Mid QB but he has a shot to win the division this year with a bad slate of teams in their division. He’s got good receivers and a good running back room to prove he can lead a team to victory.

Titans need an offense: I’m sure this isn’t a new subject for the Titans fans, but Tanny Boy is not that guy and that’s where it starts. The game plan should most likely shift from Henry getting way too many carries to giving him more options to be a dynamic back. Get that defense good first which it can be and they can become a decent team.

New England Patriots vs. Philadelphia Eagles

This game was a dawg fight. Literally. The Eagles and Jalen Hurts started on a tear. Hurts threw for a touchdown pass and the Eagles team looked like they should be the favorites to win the Super Bowl. The defense helped out thanks to a pick 6 from Darius Slay. By the end of the 1st quarter, it was 16-0. Then the Eagles offense seemed to lose itself. The Pats came back with 2 2nd quarter touchdowns to end the half. The second half was just sloppy. Both teams ended up scoring some more and the Eagles squeaked out a week 1 victory of 25-20

Eagle's offense looked good, then didn’t: We saw the Eagles' offense shine in the first half. The offense was getting everything they wanted. Hurts threw it all over the field and the running game was awesome. However, they fell apart after gaining a massive lead. It’s almost like they lost their magic. The Eagles' offense will be fine, but they cannot have a total collapse like they did against the Patriots. Or else…

Pats are a question mark: The Patriots are in a tough division. However, they gave the defending NFC Champions all they wanted. They continued to fight. They were down 16-0 at the end of the first where we all thought the game would get away from them. Then Mac Jones showed up and fought back. It was a dawg fight to the very end. With the division up in the air, the Pats may not be as bad as we thought.

San Francisco 49ers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

Wow, this game was a shit show. Kenny Pickett looked lights out in pre-season. Some experts were saying we should watch out for them to be a sneaky playoff team. After Sunday, that seems to be all gone. We knew how good the 49ers were, but they look like the front runners to be Super Bowl Champions. Brock Purdy and company eased their way to a dominant 30-7 victory.

The Steelers offense, where were they?: The Kenny Pickett show was supposed to start off with a bang. He was supposed to take a massive jump this year and look to lead the Steelers. It started with a bang all right. The Steelers had 9 TOTAL yards in the first quarter and just looked awful. Pickett was running for his life and when he wasn’t, he was missing wide-open receivers left and right. They seemed to get back on track with a late 2-minute drill drive to get 7 points. However, that was it. The Steelers need to figure out their offense or it’s going to be a long season

The 49ers defense, wow: Look San Fran you didn’t have to do it to them like that. Crush their hopes and dreams all in one swing. Sure, Brock Purdy looked to be back in top-tier form. Brandon Aiyuk looked to be even better. However, the defense looked phenomenal. Nick Bosa looks like a DPOY candidate and the secondary looks lethal. The real question is if the 49er's defense was that good, or was the Steelers' offense that bad.