NFL Payoff!!!! Week 2 Shenanigans

Dude…

Week 2 of the NFL season is proving to the fans that this is going to be a wild season. Joey Ice and the Bengals are 0-2. Money Bag Justin Herbert and the Chargers are 0-2. The Atlanta Falcons who everyone thought was going to be terrible, are 2-0. The NFC South was looking like it was going to be a crappy division. However, each team has out performed their expectations on the first few opening weeks of the NFL season. Will these teams stay at the top? Will the teams that were supposed to be Super Bowl contenders ever get their shit together? There’s a lot of season left, but week 2 gave us some great insight into the rest of the season.

Vikings vs. Eagles

Viking’s takeaway: This team is destined to struggle

So, the Vikings are in trouble. They are now officially 0-2 thanks to the loss to the Eagles on Thursday Night Football. Kirk Cousins and the wide-receiving core is looking like a problem for any defense. Obviously, Justin Jefferson continues to do his thing. JJ has some incredible supporting roles around him. Addison already has 2 receiving touchdowns and looks to be a deep ball threat for the remainder of the season. KJ Osborn continues to take several leaps forward in the passing game as well. The biggest problem for the Vikings offense is the turnovers. The rule where if a player fumbles the football out of bounds in the endzone should be changed. However, here’s a solution. DON’T FUMBLE THE FOOTBALL!!! I mean come on, 6 turnovers in 2 games is Terrible, If the offense can figure that out they will look better. Too bad they may have the worst defense in the league. As I said, the Viqueens are in trouble.

Eagles takeaway: Run the damn ball

Ok here me out Philly… run the ball more. No way you just thought, oh let’s run the ball with De’Andre Swift now. The dude had 175 yards from scrimmage!!!! I mean, Jalen Hurts had 2 rushing touchdowns of his own, thanks to that cheat code of an offensive play. Not only does the run game work really well, it sets up the deep ball. The Viking's defense was so focused on stopping the run, that they forgot about the exuberant WR core the Eagles have. Devonte Smith looks like a lock with fantasy managers as he had a huge 75-yard touchdown. The Eagles are still one of the best teams in the NFC. Their defense looks awesome and if they continue to pound the rock, it’s going to be a long day for any team that faces them.

Chiefs vs. Jags

Chiefs takeaway: they need receiver help

Yes, we all knew the receiving core for the Chiefs was going to be a touchy subject. We didn’t realize it was going to be this bad. Toney made a comeback and demonstrated why he’s the #1 WR in that locker room. Travis Kelce looked a little out of shape as he just came back from injury. Other than those two guys, who does Mahomes have to throw to? Valdes-Scantling has been non-existent in the passing game. Skyy Moore drops more passes than prisoners drop the soap in jail. Along with these two guys, Rashee has made some progress, but you can tell that he’s just a rookie. The Chiefs need to find a solution and fast if they want to repeat as Super Bowl Champions.

Jags Takeaway: Field Goals don’t win you games

I understand that you need points to win the game, but you’re not going to beat anyone good with field goals. Take a risk for crying out loud. There were at least 2 different instances where the Jags could have gone for it and decided to kick and put 3 on the board. HELLOOOOOO, YOU’RE PLAYING THE REIGNING SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS RIGHT NOW!!! You’re not going to beat them by kicking 3. The Lions demonstrated some balls when they played the Chiefs, and the Jags proved they didn’t. You don’t need to take a gamble every time, but you won’t win the Super Bowl without taking some risks.

Packers vs. Falcons

Packers takeaway: They still haven’t figured out how to not choke

Ok before we get into this, the Packers have found their Quarterback. Going into the season, Jordan Love was being talked about as a bust before he had a full-season start. Now, in 2 games he’s thrown for 6 touchdowns. The Packers seem to have this game under control until the total meltdown. The Packers defense needs to learn how to wrap up the running back because Bijan looked like a pinball in a pinball machine. Bouncing off tacklers left and right. They needed 1 of the 2 4th down stops and couldn’t pull it off. I wouldn’t be worried if I was a Packer fan because the NFC North looks SOFT. Let’s just hope this was the one meltdown and it doesn’t turn into a few more.

Falcons takeaway: The Bijan Robinson show has arrived and it’s here to stay

I have to admit, I wasn’t on the Bijan bandwagon. I thought he’d be good, but not this good. Bijan looks like an all-pro running back in his very first season in the NFL. The Falcons were supposed to be bad, but they seem to be one of the best, young, and talented rosters that is up and coming. They may not be Super Bowl contenders this year, but they’ve set themselves up to have their first playoff berth since 2017.

Raiders vs. Bills

Raiders takeaway: Yikes…. That’s it

We knew the Raiders were gonna struggle, especially in the AFC West. We just didn’t expect them to struggle this much. Jimmy G looks like another good but not great QB. Josh Jacobs was supposed to have a breakout year. He had -2 RUSHING YARDS!!! You gotta put more emphasis on the run game or it’s going to be another long season for the Vegas Raiders. Let’s just hope they don’t have any players killing old women with their cars after a late night out.

Bills takeaway: Josh Allen is still Josh Allen

So you lose to the Jets in an unheroic fashion. Allen falls apart in the 4th quarter and the Jets steal a win. What do you do in week 2? You do exactly what Josh Allen did, you come out and dominate. Allen and company combined for 274 yards in the air with 3 touchdowns. The biggest difference is he eliminated the interceptions all the way down to zero. Watch out for these guys as week 1 was just a week the Bills have already seemed to have forgotten.

Ravens vs. Bengals

Raven’s takeaway: Lamar Jackson will be the key if the Ravens are good, or great

The Ravens continue to show why injuries have been their only problem. Jackson flashed the ball all over the field and showed off why he got paid so much money. He extended drives with his legs and picked the Bengals defense apart. The Ravens seem like the dark horse to make a Super Bowl run. The biggest question always lures over this franchise. Can they stay healthy???

Bengals takeaway: Without a healthy Joey Brrr, it may be a long season

Joe Burrow has been dealing with this calf injury since training camp. It doesn’t seem like it’s gotten any better either. With the offensive line still a mess, Joe seems to be running for his life every time he gets the ball. With that bad calf, he’s not as explosive or as elusive. If the Bengals don’t figure something out, they may find themselves outside of the playoffs looking in. They need a solution, and quickly.

Lions vs Seahawks

Lions takeaway: The Lions aren’t in trouble after one loss

So you lose an overtime game to the Seahawks. Big woop. The Lions won the coin toss and scored a touchdown on the opening drive. It’s hard to look at the Lions and count this game as a loss. Jared Goff looks strong, and Aman-Ra St. Brown has some help at the WR position thanks to Craig Reynolds having another fantastic showing. The running game took a hit with David Montgomery going down. However, Jahmyr Gibbs picked up the slack. This team may have lost but still looks like the favorite to win the NFC North.

Seahawks takeaway: Week 1 was a fluke

Week 1 looked like a disaster for Seattle. Week 2 was a whole different story. Geno looked like himself from last year. Tyler Lockett had more than 1 reception and gave the Seahawks a massive overtime touchdown to win the game. Kenneth Walker III continues to eat up yardage each and every time he touches the football. The Seahawks had a bad week 1, but it looks like they’re back on track after beating the Lions

Chargers vs. Titans:

Chargers takeaway: Stanley may be the worst coach in the NFL

I don’t know how Justin Herbert puts up 300 yards passing and you still end up losing this game. Keenan Allen looks like he’s in the best form of his career, hauling in 2 touchdown passes. The running game hurt not having Eckeler in there, but that’s not an excuse. Stanley, no offense but WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???? Are you dumb??? I just can’t understand how this team has so much talent and they lost to the Titans who haven’t won since November 27th of LAST YEAR!!!!! They need to figure it out, and quickly or else….

Titans takeaway: If Tannehill continues to struggle, it’s not going to be good for Tennessee

Wow, I can’t believe the Titans scored an actual touchdown, let alone a football game. Let's be real, Tannehill is TERRIBLE!!!! I mean, he can’t accurately throw a football more than 4 yards. If Derrick Henry isn’t carrying this team, they are screwed. I don’t know if the solution is Malik Willis or Will Levis but there has to be a better option then Tannehill. You still got the win, but your flaws outweigh your pros.

Bears vs. Bucs

Bears takeaway: Justin Fields is not him

So here we are. Realizing trading the first pick was not the right decision. Fields hasn’t taken those steps all the heartbroken Bears fans hoped and dreamed he would. The defense is still a mess and don’t get me started with the offensive line. It looked like this may be the year the Bears could win the division. Then again, it is the Bears, did we really expect anything different???

Bucs takeaway: Maybe it wasn’t Baker’s fault in Cleveland

Ok, this may be the biggest surprise of the season so far. Baker is actually playing well. I mean it’s probably because he has Mike Evans as a wide receiver 1 but still, Baker didn’t have nearly the same amount of success in Cleveland. Baker making his way to Tampa may have been the best thing for both parties. Now let’s see if they can keep this good Mojo going in the right direction.

Colts vs. Texans

Colts takeaway: Richardson is the future

Even though the Colts lost Richardson in the 3rd due to concussion protocol, he looked incredible. He just seemed to fall right into place in this offense. I really don’t know what to think about this team moving forward, but Richardson definitely looks like he belongs in the league.

Texans takeaway: Stroud continues to take huge leaps forward

So, what do we make of the Texans? CJ Stroud continues to take leaps and bounds forward in becoming more comfortable in this new offense. He threw for over 300 yards and 2 touchdowns. The Texans have a long way to go, and they aren’t in playoff contention. However, it may seem like they have found a QB worth building around.

49ers vs. Rams

49ers takeaway: This is the super bowl favorite

The 49ers have looked almost unbeatable through two weeks. Brock Purdy picked up where he left off. He threw for 200 yards as he continues to show the world why Mr. Irrelevant isn’t Mr. Irrelevant. It also helps when you have a back field with Christian McCaffery who had over 100 rushing yards and a touchdown. The defense held up their own again with linebacker Fred Warner leading the way in tackles. Look, the Eagles look good, but I think the 49ers look better. They’re the most complete team in all of football. Watch out America, it may be San Frans year.

Rams takeaway: McVay and the front office don’t miss when drafting wide receivers

This team was a huge question mark coming into this season. Matthew Stafford was another huge question mark. It looked really bad for the Rams when their star, Cooper Kupp, was going to be sidelined for multiple weeks. Well guess what? Enter Puka Nacua. The 5th round draft pick out of BYU is tearing it up for LA. He has 25 CATCHES IN 2 GAMES!!! He’s leading the whole league in receptions, and by a lot. McVay and the front office do not miss in the draft. This loss to the 49ers isn’t that big of a deal. Especially once Kupp is back. It was also funny that McVay kicked a field goal at the end of the game to cover the spread. He truly is for the people.

Giants vs. Cardinals

Giants takeaway: Saquon might need to carry this offense

This game was shit then good. The Giants started off with 6 full quarters of ZERO POINTS!!! Talk about disappointment. They found themselves down 20 TO THE ARIZONA CARDINALS!!! However, Saquon Barkley seemed to snap out of his funk and play how the pro bowler is supposed to play. The Giants got it going on offense and Daniel Jones lead the Giants to the comeback victory. You hear it here first. Watch out for my man Jalin Hyatt as the Jones/Hyatt connection took its first big steps with a 58 yard completion to set up a touchdown. The Giants are not good, but if they want to have any chance at making the playoffs, they need to feed Barkley and throw Hyatt the football.

Cardinals takeaway: we’re looking at the team who is going to have the top pick next draft

Welcome to Arizona Caleb Williams!!! Too soon??? No way. The Cardinals are BAD. I mean, BAD BAD. Joshua Dobbs looked like a full grown man with that massive TD run in the first half, but after that, the Giants slowly chipped away at their lead. The Cardinals lost this game in historic fashion. Don’t expect this to get any better anytime soon.

Jets vs. Cowboys

Jets takeaway: Wilson isn’t that bad, but he’s still not good enough

The Jets played the Cowboys. Simple reasoning tells you why they lost. The Cowboys defense is elite. With Zach Wilson at the helm, he look ok. However, ok isn’t going to cut it. The Jets had really high hopes for this season, but without discount double check Aaron Rodgers, they will continue to just be ok.

Cowboys takeaway: If this defense continues to play this way, they’re gonna be scary

Yea the Cowboys defense is good. That’s the only thing you’re going to hear from me about this team. They’re just going to get eliminated in the divisional round again, so I’m saving my time talking about them.

Commanders vs. Broncos

Commanders takeaway: It goes to show that it’s better to be lucky than good

Sam Howell is awesome. He threw for almost 300 yards and had 2 touchdowns to go along with it. Brian Robinson Jr. has officially taken over the starting role and is making the most of his opportunity. He also had 2 touchdowns on the ground. The Broncos completed a hail mary to pull the game within 2, but the defense stepped up and sent Washington into week 3 2-0.

Broncos takeaway: Russell Wilson is not the same man

I’m a Chiefs guy and I don’t like the Broncos but you kind of have to feel bad for their fans. Wilson had a great game but when it comes down to being clutch, he doesn’t have it anymore. Sure, he got lucky on a hail mary but he couldn’t finish the job with a 2 point conversion. Now, Sean Payton and the Broncos find themselves 0-2 and have fans wondering, was it really the coaches fault last season?

Dolphins vs. Patriots

Dolphins takeaway: This might be their year to win it all

WOW. Tua looks legit. The Cheetah and the Waddle on the outside look incredible. Mostert had 2 touchdowns. The defense finds a way to win. This team is just so fun to watch. Tyreek continues to show why he didn’t need the Chiefs as much as they needed him. Watch out for the Dolphins man, because they might be the front runners to win the AFC right now.

Patriots takeaway: This is such a confusing team that just knows how to stay in games

I don’t know what to say about this team. Are they good? Are they bad? I have no idea. What we do know is that Bill Belichick is still a mastermind with that field goal block play that helped the Patriots get back in the game. Mac Jones can keep them in games, but do they have enough to help them win? Getting close only helps you in horseshoes and hand grenades and the Patriots aren’t in either one of those leagues.

Saints vs. Panthers

Saints takeaway: Derek Carr needs to continue to be good

The Saints are a part of the NFC South. It was meant to be one of the worst divisions in football, but now has 3 teams at 2-0. The Saints continue to show why they lead the division in recent years. Michael Thomas looks back in form, Chris Olave has made giant steps forward, and they get Alvin Kamara back in week 5. If the Saints can continue to play well *cough* *cough* Derek Carr, then they could be a sneaky good team. Knowing Carr though, he’s probably going to choke it all away.

Panthers takeaway: They’re young, this team isn’t going to be fixed from one draft

Bryce Young had his first prime time game on Monday Night. Now, Young didn’t look terrible, but didn’t look good either. You can tell he is running for his life most of the time and doesn’t have that all star weapon anymore. It might be a long season for Carolina fans, all you can hope for is Young continues to make good throws and not get injured in his rookie season.

Steelers vs. Browns

Steelers takeaway: The defense is good, the offense is a nightmare

I hate the Steelers defense. They’re so good but cost me a win in fantasy. TJ Watt is now the Steelers all time sack leader in Pittsburgh and the defense shut down the Cleveland running game. The guy who needs to get his shit together is Kenny Pickett and Najee Harris. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING ON OFFENSE?? Here let me help you answer that question…. NOTHING!! Najee can’t get going and Kenny Pickett is throwing up ducks. The offense needs to figure it out because the defense can’t carry them all year.

Browns takeaway: Nick Chubb out = no bueno

Nick Chubb’s injury was DISGUSTING. I mean you never want to see a guy go down like that. You could tell it affected the entire Browns offense by not having him in there. The Browns offense was built around Chubb. Now, massage parlor, Deshaun Watson needs to figure out how he’s going to get back to the QB he was in Houston or it’s going to be a long season for the Browns once again.