NFL Payoff: Week 14 Topsy Turvy

Dude…

What a wild week 14 it was!!! Top teams fighting for the top spots. Teams trying to crawl into the playoffs. Some seem to be tumbling out of contention. We had teams rise and fall like always, but it seemed like the playoff race got much tighter after last week. Missed out? The Dudes got you with the week 14 reactions.

Patriots vs. Steelers

Patriots takeaways: Who Zappe Cook? I mean did I expect this effort from Zappe, maybe a little but not 3 TDs impressive. Did the Pats show up to play for their coach? Sure, I can believe it. They’re out of the playoffs and are hoping (hoping) to find a way to get Caleb Williams (lose out). The defense looked good (you played Mitch Tribisky)! You got a tough competitor in the chiefs next week (they’re in a little drama phase right now it can be a winnable game).

Steelers takeaways: What was that? Poop. Straight poop. I really have no fun watching this team. That’s why I don't watch them. If you’re going to look me in the eyes and tell me this team is going to play the Chiefs in the playoffs I’d laugh at you (this is the way the playoffs stand right now). Ik Mitch was playing but did Pickett give you anything better. Old school football is dead and gone and we will see it get buried in the playoffs. 

Buccaneers vs. Falcons

Bucs takeaways: Yo ho: Good game. Nothing special except Baker giving me some fantasy points. First place is good but you’re 6-7… That's disgusting. What even is this? Luckily the NFC is actually pretty garbage as well and another 6-7 team is the 7th seed. Good luck against the Eagles. 

Falcons takeaways: Why: It’s really not that hard. It is not THAT HARD. Ridder looks like he's playing high all the time and the defense is tired of wasting his mistakes. The offense is so weird. Arthur Smith you had a good team (Except Ridder) and you are blowing it. How? The offensive scheme is smart with a bad QB but it can’t be that difficult to see his mistakes which are constant and similar and legitimately ADDRESS them. You stink, go to bed. 

Lions vs. Bears (PC)

Lions: We are crumbling- What is going on in Detroit? I mean, ever since Thanksgiving it’s been a downhill tumble. First, you take a massive L to the Packers. Then, you scrape past the 6-7 Saints by the skin of your teeth. Finally, you lose to one of the worst franchises in the past 10 years in the Bears! THEY’RE SUPPOSE TO BE REBUILDING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! I mean I don’t know what happened. The Lions just looked like they were in a daze on Sunday. Like every player woke up without a blink of sleep. They were sleepwalking through this entire game. Goff looked bad. Gibbs and Montgomery couldn’t get it going. Amon and LaPorta were bottled up. The defense got run over by Justin Fields. THE BEARS ARE TRYING TO DRAFT A NEW QB!!! You may have allowed him to be back in consideration of being the guy in Chicago. The top teams in the NFC have skyrocketed. Dallas looks good (they’ll probably choke), SF is grooving, even though the Eagles have lost 2 straight they’re still one of the best teams. All the best teams are either staying the same or shooting upwards. Detroit is plummeting towards reality. I know it’s the Lions and I shouldn’t expect that much from them. If Dan Cambell doesn’t figure out what is going on, they may not even win a playoff game.

Bears: Back to the same Fields- This is the biggest problem in Chicago. At the beginning of the year, everyone is hyped for the season. Then, the Bears do what they always do and take a monster shit all of the season. Bears fans are in hysteria. The Bears continue to shit their pants and the fans call for a change. Then, Fields plays ok for a week or two and Bears fans get back behind him. After that, Fields lays another goose egg and the fan base has accepted that their QB isn’t the answer and they need a new one. Once all the fans have moved on from the season, the QB in question has a dynamite weakness to really screw everything up. This week was that dynamite week. Fields looked like lightning in a bottle. He was throwing dimes left and right. Using his wheels to get out of trouble, and most importantly, he didn’t make that key mistake. With a big win over the Lions, now what do you do in the draft? Do you let Fields stick it out one more year and try to build around him? Or do you cut him loose and start over? I’m just glad I’m not the GM of the Chicago Bears on these difficult decisions that always seem to be the wrong one. Good win though.

Colts vs. Bengals 

Colts takeaways: Next season: Time to start having those conversations. It wasn’t really destined for you guys to make the playoffs with mustache man (they’re still in NOW but the Bills will probably steal it from you guys). But in all regards you tried your best, except this game. Defense is silly poopy and has to develop next year. Richards was a big owie. But next year, with the right involvement, I can see this being a very high powered offense. It's effective and very consistent.

Bengals takeaways: I don’t care: Browning has been showing good signs. But let's be clear he’s still Jake Browning. When he goes against the Chiefs defense it may be all lost hope. It actually is lost hope. The playoffs are not in your favor and you do not have a good team except at WR. You keep talking about your junk. But no one cares. And ever will. Ringless.

Browns vs. Jaguars (How6rd)

Browns: Joe Flacco is STILL elite- Alright maybe that’s too over the top, but after not being on an NFL squad for a good portion of the 2023 season the former pro bowler and Super Bowl champion quarterback had his best game since beating the Browns in September of last year this past Sunday. At 38 years old Joe Flacco showed he still had better skill than most QBs do at his age, and the Cleveland offense looked the best it has since Deshaun Watson was healthy as David Njoku and Amari Cooper combined for 168 yards on 13 catches. The defense came to play too as the Jaguars weren’t able to get anything going on the run game forcing a hobbled Trevor Lawrence to make big plays, which ended up with him throwing three interceptions to the Browns lethal pass defense. After a brutal two-game skid Cleveland had one of the best performances of their successful season and stands at 8-5 after beating the AFC South leaders in the Jacksonville Jaguars. What once looked to be the start of a brutal collapse to end their season without their high-paid QB seems to be the resurgence of a run to the playoffs currently sitting at the top wild-card spot in the AFC.

Jaguars: Defensive miscues aren’t pretty, but neither are offensive turnovers- A day where a team’s defense forces three turnovers usually isn’t a day where the defense gets cooked in the same day, but the Jaguars offense ended up giving it away four times themselves and ultimately just made more mistakes than their opponent overall. Although turnovers were produced by the defense, they also let up just as many critical mistakes on the same side giving up some easy passing touchdowns on slips and missed tackles nearly making it easy for the Browns to score points in this one. The defense shouldn’t get all the shame this weekend as they made plays to give the offense some huge opportunities to score, which is where the offensive mistakes and lack of spark come in. The Jaguars combined for a total of 58 rushing yards on 20 carries as sooner rather than later they realized that the game had to be won on the back of their quarterback in Trevor Lawrence who came into this game with one good ankle. He ended up with three interceptions by the end of the game and although only one of them ended in a touchdown it seemed as all of them killed any momentum the Jags seemed to have in the current moment. Along with a Parker Washington fumble that resulted in another Browns touchdown the game just came down to a game plan getting ruined and panicked being played the rest of the way, which is a disaster for any team looking at a spot in the playoffs let alone winning a division.

Panthers vs. Saints

Panther's takeaways: Bad: I really do not know what to say. I may be wrong but this team is worse than the 2021 jags. I’m disappointed and sad for Bryce Young. But at the same time, he isn’t helping his own case.

Saints takeaways: Trying to be the best of the mids: Look no one is surprised anymore that Carr is iffy at the end of the season. And tbh I don't know what this team would look like with a better-than-decent QB. High scoring? No, that's mostly because the Saints offensive scheme is lackluster and not able to score in games against elite defenses.

Texans vs. Jets(PC)

Texans: They need CJ- The Texans losing to the Jets isn’t the problem, it’s maybe losing CJ that is a concern. CJ has been the catalyst in igniting this stagnant Houston team. After losing DeShaun Watson to his message parlor fiasco and DeAndre Hopkins bouncing his way to another irrelevant team. Then, along comes the savior for the city that is home to the space center in CJ Stroud. They broke through the door to the playoffs for the first time in a long time. Then, last week CJ goes down and all that work is in jeopardy. It seems like CJ may play next week. However, if he doesn’t, the Texans may be in some serious trouble.

Jets: UHHHHHHHHHH- This season has been so weird for the Jets. They’ve been up and down this season. Even though it’s been mostly on the down side, this Sunday was a positive. The Jets had seemed to lose all faith in Zach Wilson. However, ole Zach balled out. He destroyed the Texans secondary. The Jets defense also played extremely well, and the Jets came away with the victory. Now, we all know Rodgers is coming back next season, so the rest of the season, Wilson needs to continue to play well. Who knows, maybe he’ll be shipped somewhere else and make a name for himself in another city.

Rams vs. Ravens (How6rd)

Rams: The defense had to play a perfect game to win this one- I know it rarely makes fans happy to hear anything regarding a loss, but this was a really good showing in a loss to a team that was unfortunately just simply better at the end of the day. The offense put up 410 total yards and Matthew Stafford had another solid showing with three touchdown passes and no interceptions for the second week in a row being just six yards shy of a 300-yard passing game. The only issue is the offense and specifically the QB on the other team played better and picked out every little mistake the Rams had on defense and was only able to stop the Ravens just a few times at their very best. The offense didn’t show up in overtime as it did in regulation time, but the offense definitely isn’t to blame and at the end of the day the defense just made mistakes in the pass defense which opened up some running room for Lamar Jackson to work them heavily on both aspects of the offense. The good news is they still remain at the top of the bubble looking outside of the playoffs and have a much easier matchup at home this upcoming weekend against the Washington Commanders to get back in the win column. 

Ravens: Lamar Jackson is a brilliant football player- Just when you think you’ve seen everything on a football field from Lamar Jackson the former MVP makes plays that you’ve never seen before. This week's top highlights were all in his passing, making some insane passes for touchdowns and even a two-point conversion where he pinpointed a pass to the back corner of the endzone after getting nailed to the ground. Speaking of “former,” the once Pro Bowl receiver Odell Beckham Jr. looked like the old OBJ we saw for the Giants this past week getting a huge 46-yard touchdown pass and 96 total receiving yards on just four catches on the day. Through all of that, the biggest play of the day didn’t come from either player but instead from the punt returner Tylan Wallace who caught a punt in the pouring rain and after a nasty spin move stayed on his feet running down the sideline for a game-winning return touchdown in Overtime. The defense didn’t have a good day for one of the many few times all year, but the offense showed that they can pull off a win at the stout defense’s worst moments and also proved to the rest of the NFL that this team is possibly as lethal as the 49ers if everything is clicking.

Vikings vs. Raiders (How6rd)

Vikings: The passtronaut came to a crashing end, but the defense conquered- I was very tempted to only say this offense scored three points and a typical “yeah” after that because that’s how it went for the Vikings and their offensive unit, but I’d be doing a big disservice to a defensive performance that was truly special this weekend. A shutout by no means has been “uncommon” this season, but many teams still score many points and the Raiders have at least put up points on every one of their opponents this season and even more than before with Aidan O’Connel at QB. This weekend was a truly impressive performance from Brian Flores who has turned a team with little star power from just a season ago on defense into a feared unit. More specifically the rookie Ivan Pace had the best individual defensive performance of the week picking up a sack, an interception, seven solo tackles, and some outstanding pass coverage at the linebacker position overall. As for the offense, it was embarrassing that the unit could only put up three points in such an outstanding defensive performance and if it wasn’t over before the Josh Dobbs experience has officially come to a full stop now yet again underperforming his performance in the previous week. He looked like the Titans version of Dobbs this week which is a level below Cardinals Dobbs and officially being benched for next week seems completely understandable after what he did last week with 63 passing yards on 23 total pass attempts. Believe it or not this team is still bound for the playoffs as it stands, but facing the weirdly fiery Bengals, the Packers, and division-leading Lions twice will be a tough path to finish and keep their wild card spot.

Raiders: They did not score a single point- Outside of Maxx Crosby showing up to play, just about nobody else on the team really did. Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Seahawks vs. 49ers

Seahawks takeaways: Gone and forgotten, almost: Does Metcalf have CTE? Maybe. But it really looks like the Seahawks just have little in the tank to do anything in the playoffs if they make it. Geno is kind of playing mid but it may just be an iffy team around him. 

49er’s takeaways: Uh Oh: Not for the Niners but for the NFC. It looks pretty obvious this team is the best in the NFC and probably the NFL. Brock is dealing and his defense is not taking any crap from any team. I want to see a Cowboys matchup again in the NFC championship game, just so the Cowboys can lose again.

Broncos vs. Chargers(PC)

Broncos: OMG WE MIGHT WIN THE AFC WEST… Broncos Country, let’s ride!! The Broncos manhandled the Chargers on Sunday. It was a complete and utter beat down. It was 21-0 in the 3rd. The Broncos continue to show out and ball out. After beating the Chiefs, the Broncos have won every game except one. Russell Wilson is showing flashbacks of his glory days in Seattle. Javonte Willians is a one man wrecking crew like he was supposed to be all along. Juedy and Sutton are finding holes in every defense they face. The defense is stacking up nicely, with one of the best corners in the game being their centerpiece. The crazy thing is the Broncos now find themselves one game back from tying the Chiefs in the AFC West. That hasn’t happened since 2016. The Broncos are ballin, and every team in the league should be on notice.

Chargers: MELTDOWN- I mean who would’ve thought this team would be this bad. I mean Brandon Staley you’ve got to go. End of Story. How do you have this roster and you find yourselves at a 5-8 record? A 5-8 RECORD ARE YOU JOKING?? With a top 6 QB in the league. With a top 5 WR. A top 5 RB. A defense that has shown flashes of greatness. Guess who the problem is? YOU!! IT’S ALL YOU STALEY!!!! I mean my god. How do you do this with these players around? I’m dumbfounded. Completely flabbergasted at the head coach of the LA Chargers. I would be the first to shoo this shitty head coach out of LA. I wouldn’t hire him to coach my local high school team

Chiefs vs. Bills(PC)

Chiefs: This is the worst WR Core in the Mahomes Era- I am a Chiefs fan and I’m heated. I mean how hard is it to line up onside. I understand, they never call it. But it’s simple. ASK THE REF TO TELL YOU!!! I’ve seen a video of him asking but obviously he didn’t look closely enough for the ref to tell him. I mean if you just line up onside, NONE OF THIS OTHER BULLSHIT WOULD’VE HAPPENED!!! None of it. Mahomes wouldn’t have gotten emotional and made a fool of himself. Andy wouldn’t have made the comments he did. We would have witnessed one of the greatest plays anyone has ever laid their eyes on. But no. BUMASS TONEY CAN’T LINE UP ONSIDE!! Just return punts. Don’t be a receiver. The only WR we have that are any good are Rice and Kelce. Cut everyone else. MVS, GONE. SKYY MOORE, GONE. TONEY, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU ON THE FIELD AGAIN UNLESS YOU ARE RETURNING A PUNT!!! I mean it’s beyond me we couldn’t find better pieces to put around Patty than these clowns. MVS key drop after key drop. Toney doesn’t line up onside. Moore can’t get open. IT CAN’T BE ALL PATTY!! The defense has been the best it has been in YEARSS!!!!!! Please figure it out KC, I can’t be second to the ass kickers from Denver.

Bills: It’s better to be Lucky than Good- The cards fell in the favor of Buffalo this time. No coin to screw them over. Just a WR for the Chiefs. They stay alive in the playoff hunt for now, but they have a long road ahead of them. They got lucky, that’s all.

Eagles vs. Cowboys (How6rd)

Eagles: The peak of their schedule hasn’t been sweet- After improving to 8-1 against the Cowboys in the Eagles’ first matchup it has been a war zone since that game, with close wins between the Chiefs, Bills, and getting smoked by the 49ers over a week ago. This past weekend wasn’t any easier on the Eagles as Dallas came out and played their A-game and the Eagles really had no better chess move against their division rival all game long. It seemed as almost every offensive drive just had at least one play that completely killed any momentum on their path to the endzone. This was another game where it seemed to be over by the time halftime came which telling this to any Eagles fan two weeks ago would make it seem like you’re a huge hater, but the truth is this has been a team that has had a lot of mistakes in games to where it’s fortunate that they only have a few losses. That being said I believe the team is talented enough at their best having many of the same players as their Super Bowl squad last season under Nick Sirianni and calling them fraudulent is jumping the gun big time. On the other hand, this team needs to clean up having one bad quarter a week as it showed this past week that getting in a hole early or letting the game slip away long before it’s over won’t lead to a motivated run down the road, and even worse potentially cost you the division as the Cowboys now run their own destiny for an NFC East title.

Cowboys: I’m gonna say it…this ain’t your ordinary Cowboys team- Just like everyone else I was very hesitant to throw around any huge Dak praise let alone Cowboys praise after taking down a relatively weak part of their schedule before their Thursday night game a couple of weeks ago, but this team looks special. Now, we’ve seen successful Cowboys teams in the past go into the playoffs and fizzle out in typical Cowboys fashion even when they were one of the best teams in the league in Dak’s rookie year. The biggest difference now is this is the best we have ever seen current MVP front-runner Dak Prescott playing football with 22 touchdown passes and only two interceptions in the last seven games the Cowboys have played, and to add on to it he’s playing with such a rhythm and comfort to Mike McCarthy’s aggressive play calling ability having the confidence to make any throw that’s possible. The defense matched the offense’s energy in this matchup as well nearly not breaking at all on late down plays from the Eagles, as they even forced three fumbles at points in the game to which it had shaken up the Eagles mentally to where they felt already outmatched at the start of the first and second halves and when the game was pretty much over in the end as well. The Dallas offense scored on 7 out of their 9 total drives in the game and the defense didn’t allow a single offensive touchdown, which is quite possibly the most dominant any team has looked against them from a non-point differential standpoint. We all know their history since the 90’s and I ain’t saying it can’t happen with this team as well, but with no bias at all looking at this team, this is somebody I would not want to see when clicking on all cylinders in about another month.

Titans vs. Dolphins (How6rd)

Titans: These rookies are special as history was made- Still being in absolute awe at how wrong I was about Will Levis’ career outlook in just his first season has been something to behold honestly, but this week it wasn’t just him who impressed on a historic comeback in Miami and running back Tyjae Spears also put on a huge showing. The third-round pick out of Tulane had 116 total yards from scrimmage on the day and 14.8 yards per catch being Tennessee’s second-leading receiver who played out of the backfield almost all game. As for Levis, he got his first 300+ yard passing game on primetime being sensational after his horrific pick six to start the game and performing two two-minute drills to perfection en route to one of the most impressive comeback wins in team history. Speaking of history, for the first time since 2016 a team had come back and won after being down by 14 with under three minutes to go and the record was 0-767 since the last time it happened and before the Titans did it. This team looks completely revamped and excited once again thanks to Will Levis refusing to give up at any point in the game and the defense completely clamped the Dolphins in their last two drives leading up to the victory. Even though it’s unlikely they make the playoffs with the horrific coaching staff they currently have, the young talent has looked sensational for the team so far and it’s potentially a big sign of good things to come for the foreseeable future in Nashville.

Dolphins: Looks like another week of beating a team under…wait A LOSS?!: As a Titans fan I’ll be honest in saying I started looking at mock drafts after the Dolphins scored their final points in a touchdown to go up 27-13, but in a matter of the 4:34 that followed that score they completely let off the gas pedal and allowed the Titans to grab the victory for the taking. One thing that was clear as day in this game was that Tyreek Hill should 100% be in MVP conversations and deserves to be called the front-runner currently if the NFL wasn’t so committed to giving QBs the award. At points without Hill in this game, the Dolphins were struggling to move the ball at all and Tua was having some serious problems reading the field without his lightning fast top receiver out there making huge plays out of thin air. In the end, the defense for the Dolphins also completely fell apart and was just letting Deandre Hopkins and Will Levis get throws wherever they pleased down the field all the way up until Derrick Henry bully-balled his way into the end zone for ultimately the game-winning score to have one of the worst collapses of the season. After initially being at the top of the AFC, the Dolphins now have some trouble to deal with as the Jets game next week is feeling like a huge trap game after this week’s meltdown and the Cowboys, Ravens, and a very strong Bills team regardless of the record is a very concerning way for playoff seeding and potentially even holding on to the division if the Bills can close the distance for the division lead by week 17.

Packers vs. Giants(PC)

Packers: Are they good or bad?- The simple answer is who knows. They get on a roll beating the Lions and the Chiefs. Then, they throw up a stinker against the NY FOOTBALL GIANTS. Jordan Love has looked awesome, but in this contest he didn’t. He’s pretty much a rookie due to his first year as the full time starter. However, it doesn’t seem like he understands all of the things needed to be a great starter. They’ve had a great starting QB for almost 2 decades. They all went through their ups and downs. I believe that Love is still a good QB. Even Aaron Rodgers had his off games. I have seen Jordan be awesome for the majority of the season. I still believe that Green Bay has found their QB of the future. These next few weeks are pivotal for him and the Packers as they fight for a wild card spot in the NFC. 

Giants: Bella Ciao Jones, Devito is here- Danny Devito is the embodiment of New York. If you took a picture of a person and family from New York, this is what you would come up with. His family having pre game FEASTS in the parking lot. Devito’s agent looked like he came straight from the Sopranos. Devito doing the Italian hand signal. He has looked astonishing for the New York Football Giants in his last 4 starts. He’s 3-1. Has over 100 passer rating. Actually makes the Giants offense look like an offense. He’s been everything you could’ve asked for. Daniel Jones signed a major extension. It’s become pretty clear the front office put their faith and their money into the wrong person’s pocket. Let’s see how Devito handles the rest of the year. He looks good, but who knows if he can continue to play at this level or not.